Changing your mindset at 40 - yes it is possible.

So this month I turned 40. 

I want to tell you about one of (many) my weird habits. I  have used this self-preserving strategy since I celebrated my 19th birthday. Half way through the year if someone asked me how old I was, I would tell them my upcoming age.

So during the Summer this year, if someone asked me how old I was, I was 40.

Why?

Well, the hammer of turning 40 was coated in foam. Boing! I was familiar with verbalising "I am 40".  I kind of made friends with it before it happened and it made it ok.  And so I entered my 41st year with absolutely no fear or nervous energy of getting older.

What I did not prepare for or EVER think would happen, was this...

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No, I didn't drop my ice-cream. 

Something changed in the way I thought about myself. Like so many women, how I look on occasions is very important. Every Christmas I like to have my 'new' outfit on, at birthday gatherings and dinner parties I like to get that uncomfortable sparkly frock out, and wear my high heels. So on my 40th birthday, I felt the need to pull out the stops and make a statement.

I wanted to feel lush, be lush and look lush...no pressure Tara.

I decided to borrow a very stylish dress from a very stylish neighbour (Thank you Deb ) My curls were blow dried, lashes on and I was sporting a subtle glow courtesy of Melissa Carter.

Getting ready that night I looked in the mirror and saw someone else. A gorgeous designer dress, heels and a 'large' blo-dry. This is what a 40-year-old should look like, right?

Something clicked. Nope, this is not me.

For the last 12 months, I have been focused on building my dream business. It has taken sweat, tears and endless hours of consistent effort. The journey has just begun but I am determined and I feel focused. But more importantly, I have realised that this is where I am supposed to be. My vision gets stronger and the fire in belly grows brighter every 14 hour day I put in. 

This is how I know I am on this path for a reason. It is the Tara path.

So looking in that mirror and seeing a dolled up signature 40year old did not feel like Tara. Why would I put myself in an uncomfortable position on my 40th birthday?

Jeans back on, kept the heels and back on with my fav tee. Now I felt like me and not what I believe I should look like. With the help of my super duper husband, who kindly made me this on trend brown paper head-piece as I began stressing about my 'accountant' hair, I realised that a 'nice dress' and heels were not the person I feel in tune with on my 40th birthday.  

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So what is important is this.

Begin to understand what makes you tick. Is it that important to spend all your time focusing on looking amazing, if all you want is to stay in your trainers and be you? I never in my wildest dreams could have imagined that on my 40th I would be wearing jeans and an old t-shirt, but it felt liberating.

I want you to try to identify something in your life that stresses you out. What is it?

  • Visiting that painful old friend who likes nothing more than to cut down your Creative soul.
  • Stressing for weeks on what you are going to wear to that party.
  • Filling your time with juggling grooming appointments, adding to the workload and wrinkles on your face.
  • Sitting down socially at a table with people that never make you smile.
  • Doing the grocery shopping on a Sunday evening.
  • Having to organise every family get together.

I want you to pin down the main one. I want you to think about how you can change this 'something'. 

  • Tell that old friend you will call her rather than visit.
  • Forget the party till that day and go with the flow of your wardrobe and your mood.
  • Realise that it is what comes out of your mouth people are interested in, not how beautifully arched your eyebrows are.
  • Start again with who you share a table with.
  • Online shopping.
  • Delegate out the family get together chore and stop being a martyr.

Whatever age you are, we all suffer from those niggly habits.

It is never too late to change and give yourself permission to be a calm & cherished you.

Happy You-day x

Promise me you will always #keepcreative

Tara

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