Keeping Equality once you are married.

Sunday evening came and after a heavy weekend of entertaining,  I flopped excitedly onto the couch clutching the papers. Yay!

The Sunday Business Post is always first, scanning headings, and images that catch my interest. Looking out for any of my clients who are adhering to their Press Strategy training - the usual routine.

 

Here and there are articles of interest.

Admittedly, I usually scan over the political dribble and zone in on start-ups, new innovative companies and general positive items.

 

Lastly, hitting the Sunday Business Post Magazine. On page five this week, Catherine O'Mahony proclaims she would like a WIFE, pointing out immediately at the top of the article, that she is NOT a lesbian but still wants one, a WIFE that is.

 

Eh Ok.....You want a wife then for what?.....'to do the things I never have time for, and that my husband never gets around to.....Like Laundry. And weeding, and cleaning the grout in the bathroom with a toothbrush. That sort of thing.'

 

Right........silence.

 

She continues 'I want a wife who would clean the doorstep. Wives do things like that.'

WTF? 

 

To 'hand me a chilled drink when I walk through the door..ask me what I'd fancy for dinner, or if I needed anything ironed...That sort of wife.' 

 

Oh! you mean the slave wife is it? The wife that women have been collectively struggling to gain equality for, that wife you mean! Obviously this is a joke right!

 

 

 

At this point, my eyeballs begin to twitch a little. I swig quickly on my beetroot juice (don't ask) and compose myself, secretly wondering is Catherine one of the ghost writers from Waterford Whispers. ( A clever Irish Satirical Media website).

 

I read on, hoping the tone will change course a wee bit, but then I come across a sentence that makes me want to take off my bra and burn it. 

 

'Off I'd pop to work, and there she would be, cheerfully donning some rubber gloves and setting to work.'

 

As a current 'work from home wife', and a previous 'at home wife', I have never cheerfully put on rubber gloves or never once scrubbed my front porch. I must admit I have never seen any of my wife-like neighbours do that either.

Perplexed.

Am I living in a weird estate?

 

In this rather relevant moment of EQUALITY and the rights of human beings, I was pretty shocked to read this archaic view. I realise it must be an article lined with humour, yet something hit a nerve.

How can you want a woman to do all these chores?

Surely if anything you should just want a slave - man or woman. Or better still, a more modern approach - cleaner, gardener or housekeeper...male or female!

 

Why a WIFE? 

 

Catherine did say that she wouldn't force her to be a slave. Her wife, 'would be more than welcome to have a bit of fun, to meet her friends for coffee, to potter around the shops, to catch a movie...'.

Oh wow! that is so generous and loving of you! After all, that is what WIFEYS aspire to do. Now, just a bit of fun mind!

All Catherine wants in return is that ...'she be wifely'

 

All slagging aside and to be fair, I totally get what Catherine is saying - to have home help.

I have heard this 'wife' label before, surprisingly at a Women In Business Networking event. The speaker said the secret to her success was that she had a 'wife' at home.

Now we all know that women are particularly good at organising and taking charge of the home, but surely that is because we have been boxed into this role for generations.

I guess the derogatory thing is the label WIFE.

Housekeeper, Cleaner, General Home Help, all whom could be both male or female.  

 

Most professional couples need assistance  running their homes, but usually it looks something like this -

 

1. Cleaner

2. Gardener

3. The laundrette

5. Children's chores 

6. Your chores & your partners chores 

 

So none of these solutions are based on gender.

They could be any gender right! 

 

So why am I jumping up and down about this?

Well Biscuits, apart from the distasteful slant of this article which found me gasping for air, I know a lot of Biscuits' Community are Makers, Artists, Coaches,Designers that work from home.

 

Creatives, that may be subjected to the WIFE box. (this is not a gender classification, just that you are at home.)

 

You may be trying to juggle family, managing the home and desperately trying to build a business from your talent.

I want to highlight that the time is gone for any working partner to expect a chilled drink on his/her return from work. For you to skip gleefully around in your marigolds cleaning up shite. 

 

Structure your time in collaboration with your partner, whether you are a stay at home WIFE/HUSBAND or a working WIFE/HUSBAND. 

 

Every family has their rhythm, but I know, that in one way or another, if there is no balance on the gigantic feat of running a home productively, resentment dribbles in and suddenly the business trips and office parties are frowned upon and the 'Wife' ambitions are down the list of priorities. 

 

So whether you are a male or female, working from home or running a home - stay balanced and do not put yourself into that Wife box. 

 

Being a Wife does not equate to being a slave for your partner and her/his career.

 

Supporter, counsellor, partner, collaborator  - I vote YES! 

PA, cleaner, laundrette worker, gardener, chef, shopper, project manager, lovely drink maker - every day, day in day out -I vote NO! 

 

Let us change the definition of WIFE please.....

  1. a married woman considered in relation to her spouse.

    synonyms: spousepartnermateconsortwomanbrideMore

    • the wife of a person with a specified occupation.

      "a clergy wife"

    • archaic dialect

      a woman, especially an old or uneducated one.

 

I hope Catherine finds a cleaner!  

#keepcreative